why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
