i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
