it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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