Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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