out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
