I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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