If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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