so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
