You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
