You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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