Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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