ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
