No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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