He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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