i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
