the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
