There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Barsexuality is the new black.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
