She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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