Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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