I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
