YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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