Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
