I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
