I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
someone owes me an orgasm
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
