i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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