I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I need to sanitize my soul.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
