Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
