This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
