the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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