Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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