new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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