I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Two words: blizzard sex
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
