I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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