It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
