This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
