She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
