I'm drive I can fine osifer
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
this is an emotional support booty call
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
