everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
A+ Viking dick
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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