So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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