HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
