remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My pussy is not your playground.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
