Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I checked into jail on foursquare
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
