I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
