I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
