she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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