I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
