Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
