If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
only you would photoshop your dick
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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