btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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