another moral hangover. fuck.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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